Transforming Ordinary People into Extraordinary Followers of Christ

Grace & Truth Part 2 – How We Love Matters to God

Full of grace and truth….

Preference vs principle vs God’s truth.

We talked about if you leaned toward being gracious without much truth or pointing out truth without much grace.

What we do does matter so we need to look to enable others to grow in the grace and knowledge of God’s truth.

This week we are going to be looking at how we can love others being full of Grace and Truth.


I want to be loved.  I want people to show me Grace when I mess up. I want people to encourage me.  I want others when they have something that I have done to hurt them to tell me in a loving way and not to yell at me.  I like it when people are nice to me and not mean.  I love for people to be patient with me when I don’t do things as quickly or the way they want.  I want people to be understanding when I mess up and not hold things against me.

Does this sound like things you want too?

Then why don’t we do this consistently to others around us?  Why do we often struggle coming across loving in our relationships?

We should want to love others the way we want to be loved.  How do we do this?

Everything Comes back to understanding God’s Love.    If we understand God’s love then we are quick to forgive when someone does something that hurts us.  If we understand God’s love then we are quick to search our hearts and see where we need to grow in our walk with God.  If we understand God’s love we recognize we need each other to point out the times in our lives when we are more focused on self than God.  If we understand God’s Love then we begin to balance Grace and Truth in our lives.

So, if we know God’s truth is so important to us then why do we not say things when we see hem going down another path?  If we love them won’t we tell someone of Gods love for them and how they can live with gods purpose for them in mind?

Some people feel that if we don’t agree with them then we don’t love them.   There is a strong tendency for people to not say when they disagree with them because we can be afraid of what they think or of us being possibly be labeled as a Hater.  We do have to be careful about what we say and how we say it, but we also need to spend time loving people we disagree with in such a powerful way that they don’t doubt our love.

What are some reasons we struggle telling others when they are straying from God’s truth?  We need to push through and find a way to lovingly tell of God’s truth.  This is for those who belong to Jesus.

1.  We don’t want them to think we are being selfish and think bad of us.  If I tell them that they are messing up here they will just think I am being selfish and just want them to act the way I want them to.

That I don’t understand what they are going through and just want to fix them.  Maybe your spouse has stress at work or with extended family or had rough day with kids at home.  If we point out their life is not reflecting God then they will think bad of us and we don’t care.

2. We don’t want them to point out our sins and issues.

Matthew 7:1-5, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13

12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside.

3. We think they will turn further from God or from us.

My friend in High School.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me, if it meant so much to you?”   I guess I just thought if he was interested he would ask.

Help our kids own their own faith.

We need to push through and find a way to enable others to grow in christ.  So if our motive is good and we love them how can we be full of grace and truth?

Does Loving someone and being gracious to them mean we need to just accept their sin and move on?  Is that really loving them?

Let’s define Love:

Love is doing the very best thing you could do for another person no matter the cost to yourself.

Philippians 2:3  English Standard Version (ESV)

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Jesus is the best example of this view of Love.  What was the best thing Jesus could have done for us?  Seeing that we were helpless to save ourselves Jesus became a baby, lived a sinless life, and died on the cross so that God would accept what He did in our place.  There is nothing greater he could do for each of us.  We now have a way to have our relationship with God restored. It is through our belief and dependence on Jesus

John 15:12-13,

12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Romans 5:6-8,

6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

If this is Love and God desires for us to love others then is ignoring someone’s sin the best thing for them?  Is always pointing out where they were wrong the best thing for them?

Loving someone is not ignoring others sins.  Being Gracious is not ignoring sin.  Loving someone is not keeping a record of their wrongs.

Loving someone and being gracious to them is not ignoring sin in their life.

What example does Jesus show in John 8?

John 8

New International Version (NIV)

8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

What example did Jesus Show us in being Full of Grace & Truth in this passage?

Romans 8:1

8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.

Did Jesus just let her off the hook?


How do we Love people and point them to God’s truth?

How are we full of Grace & Truth with those in our Families?

How are we full of Grace & Truth with our Spouse?

How are we full of Grace & Truth with our Kids?

Showing Grace and truth in love to those closest to you might look a little different for each person and each family.

Embrace the truth of God’s Word as you consider your family relationships. What beliefs lie beneath your son’s actions? What motivations prompted your daughter toward rebellion? Sin can impair a person’s ability to think and act. All have chosen to follow a sinful desire. And at the root of every sin, we usually find wrong beliefs built out of a prideful heart.

As you consider your response, Ask yourself, what do I want to see happen as I relate to my child, spouse, friend, co worker, or neighbors? What will best enable them to be restored to a growing relationship with Jesus Christ?

When I realize I make mistakes. do I feel okay or am I good with myself. or do I recognize I need Jesus more.

When I see others with people make mistakes. does it cause me to be angry or compassionate towards them.

(1 Corinthians 13:1-7 NIV)  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Pray for ways on how you can show love to them without sacrificing truth. Show kindnes, but don’t compromise your standards.

Pray with Passion. Speak truthfully. Love Deeply. Be sure to communicate your love and strive to build a strong and healthy relationship.  Go to God’s word to see how Christ related to people who were persistent in their sin (Luke 7:36-50; John 4:1-15; John 12:37-50). In every interaction with people around you show grace and don’t forsake the truth.

Taken from an Online Blog:  Our Family For His Glory

Parenting with grace and truth

It does NOT mean that we give in to their selfish sinful ways.

It does NOT mean that we get rid of all the rules and the “law.” (Although we certainly should continually be praying over and reevaluating the standards we have set in our homes, and we must be careful to realize that following these rules is NOT the way to salvation!)) is it preference or gods truth?

It does NOT mean we give our children the world, with all its delights and pleasures.

What does it mean?

It DOES mean that we give them Jesus.

It DOES mean that we show them our and their need for a Savior.

It DOES mean that we pray that they will become overcomers of this world.

It DOES mean that we continually give the act of love.

It DOES mean reading the Word (which is truth) to our children.

It DOES mean that we pour out unmerited favor by guiding them in truth… through instruction, encouragement, correction, and discipline.

Parenting with grace and truth means that we lovingly come alongside our children as fellow sinners in need of grace, and gently point them to our Savior and HIS incredible grace… and truth.

Application Challenge

Thoughts from Orange Conference:

  • What if every time you wanted to communicate grace you stopped first to ensure that what you were about to say or do was fully in line with what is true?

  • What if every time you wanted to communicate truth you stopped first to ensure that you were going to communicate it in a way that was grace-filled?

Never grace without truth.  Never truth without grace.  How would that impact the quality of your family life?

White lies might disappear forever.  Harder conversations might happen, but they might lead to more breakthroughs because they were communicated in a way that let your family know you were fighting for them, not with them.  Do you think it might win the heart of your family? Truth might be more appealing because love is always compelling,  and love would be more powerful because sweetness alone eventually stops resonating when it’s misaligned. (Simply being nice is not actually love anyway.)

Jesus lived this one out.  He never spoke the truth apart from grace, and never spoke grace that was unaligned with truth.

So here’s the challenge this week:  as you interact in your family:

  • Speak the truth with grace

  • Speak grace with truth.

Just don’t separate them.   For me, this means I sometimes have to cool off before speaking because in the heat of the moment, there’s no grace where this truth is coming from.  And when I’m tempted to simply be nice in a way that’s void of truth, I’ll also pause and reframe.

So…you in?  Want to try it for a week?  No truth without grace.  No grace without truth.

How do you think this might change your pattern at home?

What would your home be like if we Loved Deeply by being FULL of Grace & Truth in the way we interacted with others around us?

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